Jabberwocky, explained.

(or, what happens when I get a night off from work)

Of all the famous poems of our time, none have gotten away with so much nonsense as the poem Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll (1832-1898); that is, until now. These days, we have spaceships, nuclear energy, advanced medicine, and computers in every household. So why are we to put up with such nonsense as an old poem like this, I ask?!

I present to you, the poem Jabberwocky, after my trusty desktop computer has miraculously replaced each non-word with the first word that came up in “spell-check”. Each word, that is, except for “Bandersnatch”. It couldn’t think of a replacement for that one. So Lewis Carrol has succeded in stumping the modern computer, with his wit, even from over 100 years ago! But finally, the poem makes complete sense to the rest of us. Oh, and I skipped the grammar check; after all, this is poetry.

Jabberwocky
(as corrected by Microsoft Word)

`Taws billing, and the smithy toes
Did gyre and gamble in the wage:
All missy were the brogues,
And the mime rats outrage.

"Beware the Jabberwocky, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujube bird, and shun
The furious Bandersnatch!*"

He took his viral sword in hand:
Long time the Manxwomen foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tutu tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in offish thought he stood,
The Jabberwocky, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffing through the tulle wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The viral blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwocky?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O crablouse day! Callow! Calla!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Taws billing, and the smithy toes
Did gyre and gamble in the wage;
All missy were the brogues,
And the mime rats outrage.

(With apologies to Lewis Carroll)

* (no spelling suggestions)